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A video at youtube shows a question and answer session with Richard Dawkins, author of "The God Delusion," after he has read excerpts from his book "The God Delusion", at Randolph-Macon Women's College in Lynchburg VA, October 23, 2006. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR_z85O0P2M&mode=related&search=)
Question from a young woman:
As someone coming from a religious family, especially an area with such a dominant religion and a particular figurehead, how does someone find their own way when leaving is just not yet an option?
Richard Dawkins answers: I think this is a very serious question because I’ve had letters from really quite a lot of people, especially in America, and they say things like: “I am actually an atheist but daren’t admit it. I’m frightened of my family; I’m frightened of my parents; I’m frightened of my minister.”
I read an article the other day about a boy in a small town in Texas, who didn’t want to be confirmed. And the priest said: “Well, that’s OK. You don’t have to be confirmed. But you have to write down your reasons for not being confirmed.”
Why did the boy have to write down his reason for not being confirmed into that particular church? He didn’t have to write down his reasons for not being bar-mitzvahed as a Jew? It just so happened that he was born into a Christian family and therefore the presumption was made that he better have a good reason for not being confirmed into the religion of his parents or else.
And that’s one of the main problems we have; it’s the assumption that our society makes regardless of whether we are religious or not. We all buy into the convention that children belong to the religion of their parents. You will see newspaper articles talking about Christian children and Muslim children and Jewish children. Children who maybe as young as 3 or 4 years old and who were therefore obviously much too young to know what their beliefs are about the cosmos and humanity and religion.
There is no such thing as a Christian child; there is only a child of Christian parents. Whenever you hear the phrase “a Christian child” or “Muslim child” or “Catholic child,” the phrase should grate like fingernails on a blackboard, just as the feminists have raised our consciousness to phrases like “one man, one vote.” You can’t hear that phrase now without at least wincing slightly because it should be “one person, one vote.”
At present, we have not had our consciousness raised about the labeling of children with the religion of their parents. That’s just one aspect and it shows itself – to return to the questioner – it shows itself in a great deal of difficulty that any young person has, any person at any age has, in departing from the religion of their parents, their social group, their grandparents, their aunts and uncles. It might be a bit like getting divorced. And it’s sort of something that raises real social problems.
There is a magnificent one woman’ show by the comic actress Julia Sweeney called: “Letting Go of God” in which she describes her own journey from Catholic upbringing to the mature and balanced atheist that she is today. And she describes the difficulty of admitting to her family that she had become an atheist. It actually was reported in a newspaper and her mother read it and screamed on the telephone. And Julia – who makes a very witty, very funny performance, she does – she says, her mother was absolutely horrified. Not believing in God was one thing, but “an atheist?”
I don’t know what the answer is. I mean, the precedent of gay people is one that one can vaguely bear in mind. I mean, homosexuality is now much, much more accepted in our society than it was when I was young. When, I mean, homosexuality was actually illegal in Britain up until, I think, the 1960ties, believe it or not. And the great British mathematician, one of the two fathers of the modern computer, Alan Turing, who arguably, because of his brilliance in solving the German enigma codes in the 2nd World War, did more to win the 2nd World War than either Churchill or Eisenhower. Alan Turing was arrested for homosexual behavior in the 1950ties and was essentially driven to suicide.
That has now changed and now people can be openly gay. The word gay has become a word used with pride rather than with shame. I think that we do have to have a shift in social attitudes to atheism, which will mirror that towards homosexuality. It is after all just a view about the cosmos and about various other things, about humanity, about morality. It is really quite extraordinary that somebody’s view about such an academic matter as whether there exists a supreme intelligence should reflect upon the way in which their family, their friends look at them. It is quite remarkable that that should be the case. Once again, it’s something that we all got to do something about.
The young woman's second question: "Is anger a common symptom of a person who is going through the deconditioning process of their parents' religion?"
Dawkins answers: "I don't know. It had never occurred to me. Mmh. Does anybody else have personal. . .mmh. . .mmh. . .
I, I, I think sort of fear is probably more common, I mean fear of what their parents are going to think rather than anger. But I could be wrong. I'm interested in that. If that question is based on personal experience, I'd be interested to hear more. Is that a common experience?"
Audience: "Yes!"
Dawkins: "Wow. Anger on part of the person who is undergoing the deconversion process themselves?"
Audience: "Yes!"
Dawkins: "Anger against whom or what?"
Audience, different voices call out different things; audible:
"Parents," and "All the authority figures who pushed this as the norm, which was anathema to the child's reason."
Dawkins: "Right. Well, thank you. That's extremely interesting. I've learned something tonight."
Read more about the connection of anger about a religious upbringing at: About the importance of anger for disconnecting from a religious upbringing
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