Hero Child

 
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Biography Barbara Rogers
Foreword: A Hero Child
Chapter 1
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Published by Barabara Press
   

 

Ritzka

I was visiting Germany the year before my father died
my brother asked me to see him one more time
he felt it was important—so I came
the incest still kept from my consciousness

I was told that my father spent his days in bed
with his eyes closed
without contact with the people around him
in mental darkness
I expected to just witness for awhile a corpse
waiting between life and death to die

but my father opened his eyes and clearly recognized me
while I cried and said over and over again
I am so glad to see you

he responded to me—he clearly knew who I was
I told him I had married an American pilot and he said “wow”
he wanted to see pictures of him
so I ran to my car and got them
he wanted me to play the piano for him—and I did

before I left I asked him to say the special name
only my father had used for me

with his toothless mouth he gave me a big smile
and said—Ritzka
and I asked him—say it again
and he said one more time with this amazing smile—Ritzka

it was my last encounter with my father

© Barbara Rogers

 

go to:

the curse of silence

painful layers of silence

unbearable silence

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Screams from Childhood