Screams from Childhood - table of contents

Biography Barbara Rogers
Foreword: A Hero Child
Chapter 1
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Table of Contents

chapter 1--a way out

don't tell the truth
walled in
my anger is my lover
the screams provide the way out

chapter 2-- no needs allowed
no needs allowed
if you do something for yourself

chapter 3--Hotto, tragic gift of life
never again
Hotto's children
Hotto memories
leaving Hotto

chapter 4--creating connections: screams of freedom, joy and love
when I feel
resurrecting Barbara
two grandparents provide safety
on the island
my captain

chapter 5--lies
the big black hole
mother church, house of stone

chapter 6--approval addict
approval addict
little circus horse
the starving lion and the lonely snail
the special child
competitive madness

chapter 7--the eldest
the fire
on the pedestal

harbor revisited
leading role

chapter 8--tyrant fear
tin soldier
I won't let go
life and death
the Jew in the family

chapter 9--in between
at the dinner table
the photo
broken heart--twisted heart
in between
how can I love?

chapter 10--battlefield child
battlefield child
the army of the believers
no place for me

chapter 11--extinguishing a woman
revisiting the Queen Mary - at the scene of the crime
three kinds of women
blindness and manipulation
father, unscrupulous

chapter 12--never on my side
the emperor
against me
thicket in the dark forest
telling the truth heals
would you have held me?
see--I told you so
one-way street to pity
fallen out of grace

chapter 13--seeking connection
beggar child
three hugs
without answer
it's all over
I thought you would be my friend

chapter 14--abandoned
your hand
the bride
the car accident
false guilt versus true guilt
not alone anymore
the betrayal of guilt

chapter 15--losing my mind
why do I have to believe so much?
the unnoticed injury
the manic-depressive see-saw
the judge who also prosecutes
requiem for an unlived life

chapter 16--worthless
swamp of worthlessness
a son is a god

chapter 17--who is my father?
what did you do in the war?
who is my father?
a man with charm
three monkeys

chapter 18--I wanted to be a writer
the crime of having an imagination
women can't write

chapter 19--without parents
Hitler's children
lost values
accepting the truth
what I wish I had said

chapter 20--painful layers of silence
unbearable silence
painful layers of silence
incest--answered with silence
the curse of silence

chapter 21--hopeless
night and day
the trap
lonely star
the bird and the wall

chapter 22--hatred--the banned feeling
call it by its true name
what the language of hatred reveals
the language of love

chapter 23--a twisted concept of revenge
dreams of justice
mask of discipline
sunday school
a new journey

chapter 24--farewells
leaving the fjord
out of the fog
hopeless hope
the mountain or--changing perspective
who am I?
NO--my hidden guide through life

black figure

chapter 25--bringing forgiveness to the child who was never forgiven
buried under a mountain of tar
the land of unforgiveness
we shed pain and hatred
forgiveness--what does it mean?
the land of forgiveness

chapter 26--walking together into life
my feelings are like a universe
the child--coming into my arms
walking together into life