chapter 1--a way out
walls
don't tell the truth
walled in
my anger is my lover
the screams provide the way out
chapter 2-- no needs allowed
no needs allowed
if you do something for yourself
chapter 3--Hotto, tragic gift of life
Hotto
never again
Hotto's children
Hotto memories
leaving Hotto
chapter 4--creating connections: screams
of freedom, joy and love
when I feel
resurrecting Barbara
two grandparents provide safety
on the island
Jan
my captain
chapter 5--lies
lies
virtue
the big black hole
mother church, house of stone
chapter 6--approval addict
approval addict
little circus horse
the starving lion and the lonely snail
the special child
competitive madness
haunted
chapter 7--the eldest
harbor
the fire
on the pedestal
harbor revisited
leading role
chapter 8--tyrant fear
Nikolaus
chaos
tin soldier
I won't let go
confirmation
life and death
the Jew in the family
chapter 9--in between
at the dinner table
the photo
broken heart--twisted heart
in between
how can I love? |
chapter 10--battlefield child
battlefield child
the army of the believers
brainwashed
trapped
no place for me
chapter 11--extinguishing a woman
revisiting the Queen Mary - at the scene of the crime
three kinds of women
blindness and manipulation
father, unscrupulous
chapter 12--never on my side
the emperor
against me
thicket in the dark forest
telling the truth heals
would you have held me?
see--I told you so
one-way street to pity
fallen out of grace
chapter 13--seeking connection
beggar child
three hugs
without answer
it's all over
abyss
I thought you would be my friend
chapter 14--abandoned
your hand
the bride
the car accident
false guilt versus true guilt
not alone anymore
the betrayal of guilt
chapter 15--losing my mind
why do I have to believe so much?
the unnoticed injury
the manic-depressive see-saw
the judge who also prosecutes
requiem for an unlived life
chapter 16--worthless
swamp of worthlessness
shadows
a son is a god
worthless
chapter 17--who is my father?
what did you do in the war?
who is my father?
arrogance
betrayed
a man with charm
Ritzka
three monkeys |
chapter 18--I wanted to be a writer
contradiction
the crime of having an imagination
women can't write
chapter 19--without parents
Hitler's children
lost values
control
merciless
accepting the truth
escaping
what I wish I had said
chapter 20--painful layers of silence
unbearable silence
painful layers of silence
incest--answered with silence
the curse of silence
chapter 21--hopeless
night and day
actions
the trap
lonely star
the bird and the wall
chapter 22--hatred--the banned feeling
call it by its true name
what the language of hatred reveals
the language of love
chapter 23--a twisted concept of revenge
dreams of justice
mask of discipline
sunday school
a new journey
chapter 24--farewells
leaving the fjord
synagogue
out of the fog
hopeless hope
the mountain or--changing perspective
who am I?
NO--my hidden guide through life
black figure
free
chapter 25--bringing forgiveness to
the child who was never forgiven
buried under a mountain of tar
the land of unforgiveness
we shed pain and hatred
forgiveness--what does it mean?
the land of forgiveness
chapter 26--walking together into life
my feelings are like a universe
the child--coming into my arms
walking together into life |
